My heart and training.

I am pumped (pun intended) that my heart is working again! To set the stage properly, I need to back up. I have three goals for this trip (in order of importance): 1) to have a good time, 2) to network (read: to meet international chicks), and 3) to run fast. Goal # 3 was in serious jeopardy from the time I left the states. Back in mid-June, I was running workouts that were in the same range (pace, effort) as when I was college. I had high hopes for the summer that I could be in PR shape by the time I hit the Belgian circuit. Fast forward to Chicago, I couldn't run 5 miles at a moderate pace without feeling exhausted, and my heart was keeping me up at night pounding on my chest. Since I left, I had done 2 runs, each slow 2 milers in London, and each left me gasping for breath and wondering what's wrong. I'm a slow learner, but I'm starting to catch on that the feeling in my chest is related to the ease of my workouts. The same issue was affecting me in May, and after a week off, with a lot of rest and nutrition, my heart seemed to "snap back" into beating normally. Somehow it went off-track again in the meantime, and I don't know exactly why, but I do know that I was about ready to give up running for the summer, when, at 2:24 am last Tuesday, it snapped back in. I wanted to celebrate! Nobody was awake for a party, so I celebrated in my own way--I walked to the track and sprinted a 400m to remember what it feels like to feel good. Since then I've run three times, and yesterday ran a time trial 800 to see where I'm at. I opened in a surprisingly comfortable 54 (much faster than I intended) and closed in a painful 62 for a 1:56. Not world-class by any means, but after only 3 days training, preceeded by a month of inconsistency, it's good enough for me to have some optimism for the next two weeks. My first meet will be Amsterdam on the 2nd; with another week of fitness I like my chances to compete well. Assuming training continues to go well, the week after is Ninove (Belgium).

I'm excited to still have a chance to compete this summer, but moreso that I've stumbled accross something critically important about my body, and at least have a vague idea of how to control it. I'll be seeing an expert about this the second I come back (and get a job with insurance). I look back to some of my inexplicable performace inconsistencies in college, and can remember my chest pounding at the same time. I don't know why I never associated the two or looked into it more. It affects my state of mind too, I feel so much more clear-headed when everything's "normal". Looking back, I think I've spent much of the last 8 years in this "reduced" state of being, and its not a state I want to spend another second of my life.